This list of 7 of my favourite Nonviolent Communication books will hopefully serve as a great foundation for you to understand nonviolence better conceptually and integrate the consciousness of NVC.

Transcript

This list of 7 of my favourite (Nonviolent Communication) NVC books will hopefully serve as a great foundation for you to understand nonviolence better conceptually and integrate the consciousness of NVC.

1. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships by Marshall B. Rosenberg

First up is Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life.

Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, developed Nonviolent Communication in the 1960s; it is an international bestseller with over 1100 reviews on Amazon! I love the book because of Marshall’s story- telling style and it lays out NVC in a step by step, easy way. There are such clear examples and explanations. This is the foundational book to start with if you haven’t read any books on NVC.

By the way, this book was shared by Microsoft CEO, Satya Nadella to his board members and he named it his all-time top 7 books. Also, Tara Brach, Tim Ferris, Esther Perel and so many others talk about NVC.

2.Spinning Threads of Radical Aliveness: Transcending the Legacy of Separation in Our Individual Lives By Miki Kashtan

This book was hugely instrumental in helping me internalize that we, humans, do not have to be ashamed of having needs ; shame is used as a tool in socialization, often to punish, and because of these experiences of shame, we have learned to downplay or even ignore our needs.

As NVC practitioners, we ask fully for our needs to be met whilst releasing attachment to outcome. Fundamentally our needs are life-affirming; our strategies can be harmful but not needs.

Miki shares stories & lessons learned in her life right from early childhood via her mother’s diaries in a very honest, vulnerable way - as a reader, these very personal accounts left me deeply moved. There are also some great practices on gratitude, overcoming separation and opening up to feedback.

Miki describes herself in workshops as “constitutionally collaborative” and this really comes across in her writing including her blogs. I've learned a lot from her facilitation in workshops that pay attention to systemic factors like power and privilege, something we are all learning to collectively be more sensitized to and is still quite uncomfortable to talk about and address. This book was quite a life-changing read for me. If you are new to NVC, add it to your reading list once you have a strong foundation.

3. The Heart of Social Change: How to Make a Difference in Your World by Marshall B. Rosenberg

Another book by Marshall Rosenberg that I recommend is The Heart of Social Change: How to Make a Difference in Your World. It’s very short, more like a booklet, and consists of excerpts from a workshop that Marshall taught on effective social change.

There are very useful role-playing examples to demonstrate how the NVC process works. My favourite line in the book is ‘‘Peace begins with me.’; trans-formative spirituality is also about mobilizing for action . and my key takeaway from the book is ‘the most fun game in the world is making life wonderful’. He explains that you make life wonderful when your full consciousness is on a life-enriching vision, when it is play.

Marshall talks about how to have productive social change meetings ; simple things like help people get clear about their requests and saying ‘finished’ when you are done speaking when in a group are so important.. A great book and well worth a read. Speaking of requests, it would be fun to connect with you so leave me a comment below with your favourite book and a sentence or two on why you liked it.

4. Reflections on Living Compassion: Awakening Our Passion and Living in Compassion by Robert Gonzales

The book is like a reading meditation. It touches deeply into the spirituality of NVC and helps you understand the living energy of needs, the longings of our heart. Gonzales says, ‘Compassionate Communication is a language of the heart. Yet, we are not able to truly live the language of the heart unless we are able to access the heart.’

Living Compassion starts with cultivating presence’, or ‘awareness’. Rather than rushing to fix ourselves or change our situation, Gonzales encourages us to sit with all that is—our needs, our longings, our fear, and our pain—and simply give it space to unfold naturally. I have read this book many times and always learn something new, even though it's concise - about 60 pages.

5. The Compassionate Presence by Stephen R. Schwartz

I heard of this author via Robert Gonsales and I enjoyed his writing so much that I bought all his books and a few audio recordings of talks and meditations via his website too. Although not directly related to NVC in any way, I found the book very helpful in learning how to stay openhearted, which is an important part of NVC.

The book is refreshingly honest in training oneself how to listen with openness. The book features meditations and dialogues that Stephen has during workshops with participants. If you hate someone, he suggests in one conversation, it is okay to even be honest with yourself & say that you hate that person...to be with your experience as it is and then if you stay with that icky, awkward feeling, something shifts.

In everyday life, we aren’t really honest with our feelings. We play games to avoid discomfort; we want certainty, we want to avoid our feelings of lack or unworthiness or anger. Stephen encourages you to experience whatever it is that is being felt - if it is shame, experience it fully.

Judgement really makes us quite miserable so the real gem in this book is it shows you how to just be okay... even with unpleasant states of mind, or stories and just being with an experience as it arises... is freeing. This book is a real treasure. The writing is beautiful, soothing, poetic. Loved it.

6. Creating a World That Works for All by Sharif M. Abdullah

I heard of this book via Miki Kashtan. This book isn’t strictly about NVC again- however it does talk about a world where everyone’s needs could matter and even be met;...so I have included it. Sharif says that exclusivity is the root of the world’s conflict. Exclusivity as he explains is the notion that “I” is separate from “you” or “others”.

Homophobia, sexism, other forms of hatred and systemic oppression can be linked to this mental conditioning of separation. In this book, Dr. Abdullah offers inclusivity as the way to restore balance and create a world that works for all.

The book offers practical solutions that all of us can practice on a daily basis in order to transform our world by becoming The Menders; The menders relates to the emerging human story. He mentions three key practices for The Menders to participate in including practicing enoughness, inclusive compassion and reconnecting with our relationships, both with one another and nature.

7. Choosing Life: The Practice of Compassionate Communication by Richard Broadbent

The first NVC workshop I ever took in London was with Jill and Richard Broadbent - a long time ago. The book is simple and concise, filled with clear examples and distilling the concepts in a very accessible way. I gifted this book to so many people, and I also gave away my last copy. I also have “Know thyself” which is very useful to practise - the book focuses on exercises to help bring awareness through exploring beliefs, reactive lack stories, longings and so much more - so all useful stuff.. A lot of practise is needed to integrate NVC consciousness and so really I recommend buying both although I loved, loved, loved Choosing Life.

Check out my other video on Nonviolent Communication and work.

Well, those were some of my favorite NVC related books.Thank you for watching.